Ben and Elana's Wedding

          I have trouble thinking of my time in the US as travel blog-worthy because I have trouble thinking of it as travel. Which is silly.

          Anyway, After my second year in Korea, I returned for Ben and Elana's amazing wedding at Newt's Hollow, outside of Berkeley.

Photos by Stacia Torborg. See more of her photography (or hire her to photograph your event) here.

          While I was in Korea, Ben and I had a lovely Skype conversation brainstorming different projects that could help make the event more colorful and awesome. I ended up making a Rube Goldberg machine, painted in the same exact colors that their set designer friends were using for the table cloths and other decorations. I had a whole week while staying at Gabe's parents' house to go collect random objects, paint them, and draw out plans of how they could fit together to be a chain of causation. It took frantic work in the final hours before the wedding to get all the pieces to the park and hammer everything out into place around a tree and platform, but eventually a golf ball rolled down a tinker toy ramp to hit a block glued to a Lazy Susan, and a stegosaurus glued to the other side of the spinning platform hit its tail against a candlestick, causing it to roll down another tinker toy ramp and in the process hitting a tinker toy arm that spun out to hit Dan's posterior, signaling him to slam a video game controller guitar onto the button of an umbrella, which triggered it to open and knock down a mannequin torso so that it fell onto a safety net of crisscrossed blue yarn strung between two bright pink skis, and since the mannequin was tied to a racquet whose handle was stuck into a kick board flotation device on a pivot, the racquet and kick board spun to knock two bouncy balls off of colorful or animal shaped baskets. Then Dan, Judith, Ian, Caitlin, Eric, and I tossed the bouncy balls to each other with strange devices such as butterfly nets, tubular laundry hampers shaped like monkeys or flowers, and inflatable infants’ swimming pools shaped like a crab or a fish. The balls were dropped into baskets, which raised the veils of the small portable tents where Ben and Elana had been waiting. The couple then walked down separate paths into a labyrinth – also of my design and set up – that was made by having the guests stand on strings and hold hands to form the walls. The labyrinth was shaped as a crescent moon and had two entrances, one for the bride and one for the groom. The entrances were flanked by the people who knew them first, their parents and other family, and they continued down the maze through other people they had known before they met each other, and came together in the center among college friends who knew them as a couple and continued together down a wider aisle of their Berkeley theatre friends and others who had met them as a unit.

          That was most of my contribution, but the wedding continued to be awesome and whimsical. Four friends at the end of the labyrinth carried flags and flanked the couple as they walked to the minister. The four flag bearers and the minister had memorized a back and forth script in which the minister asked why they brought the couple forward, with super-specific and adorable responses, such as that in a house of twelve people they found themselves alone together, that they both considered rice and beans to be a complete meal, that in their fairy tales there are no knights or princesses — only each other, and because they asked to be brought. The minister then asked Ben and Elana who would support the new family they intended to create, since they were melding their last names into a new family name. They first called upon their parents. The five parents — including Ben’s step mother — had each brought a length of rope that was symbolic of their family history, ranging from a tie with shamrocks to represent Ben’s Dad’s Irish and academic background to Elana’s Dad’s simple but dependable silk rope and fishing line, to a strip of quilt being made for the new couple to Ben’s Mom’s string of traditional Mexican decorations. The parents tied the ropes together — and symbolically tied themselves to the McKelahan family — until the rope formed a ring around the couple and was laid at their feet. The parents vowed to accept both Ben and Elana and any offspring they may have as blood of their blood and flesh of their flesh. Ben and Elana then called upon their extended families, and the minister had them make a similar vow of acceptance and support, and place their hands on the couple or the parents. Next Ben and Elana called upon their friends, and the minister asked us to give our support and bring joy to the new couple. Once we placed our hands on the families, Ben and Elana called upon All that Is, Was, or Will Be — an excellent compromise on the god issue since Ben was becoming a minister and Elana is an athiest, yet they have similar beliefs with different terminology — and the minister asked for the blessing of all of existence for the couple. Ben and Elana then exchanged wonderfully specific vows, such as promising to use silly voices together, as well as some more serious but still specific vows about loving and supporting each other. It was adorable.

Photos by Stacia Torborg

Ben’s dad and other members of the families played some live Irish music as the guests went about to make art. Various stations had been set up around the park of Newt’s Hallow. In one, people smashed marital expectations by filling up ceramic houses or babies with confetti then rolled a bowling ball down to explode them onto sticky paper that captured some of the color. Lengths of tube were decorated and connected with colorful duct tape to make hula hoops. Picture frames hung between trees placed near a pile of costumes so that guests could dress up, take a Polaroid, then hang the picture on a clothesline to develop and display. A type-writer was set up for messages to the bride and groom. Guests glued cloth pictures onto a quilt to be sewn into place later. A book of memories asked guests to share a favorite memory of Ben and Elana and draw a picture.

Two plays were presented — one in which Dan and Jessamyn acted out a clever dialog written by some relative of Ben and Elana’s for the occasion between Socrates and his wife Xanthippe. The dialog was actually quite good from both a philosophical and humorous perspective on the merits of marriage in general and Ben and Elana’s in particular, and Dan and Jessamyn had the best reading of it due to their acting abilities and chemistry. The other play was also a staged reading, but this time by the children — presumably written by their parents — in which the newts of Newt Hallow complain about not being invited to their wedding and plan Midsummer’s Night Dream like plots of magic to repay the humans, but are reconciled with Ben and Elana who apologize and give a formal invitation.

The food served consisted of two dishes — one representing Ben and one Elana — and their combination, along with numerous other tasty treats. A band with at least one member that was friends with the couple played quirky and intelligently humorous songs, and then a cover of Still Alive, the song from the end of the video game Portal, which meant that Ben, Gabe, Aaron, and I were super enthusiastic about it. We began to clean up as the sun went down. Eventually everything was loaded up into the u-haul rental truck. Several of us had volunteered to unload the truck at Ben and Elana’s apartment and at the church before returning to the out of town locale to camp for the night. I asked Ben who was going to drive the truck, at which point he sheepishly said, “So, about that…” Earlier in the week I had agreed to be Ben’s concierge — in the Godfather sense of the word. I would help him with anything he needed to happen to make the wedding go off as planned and take care of any problems, from helping him shop for wedding attire to helping set up. Thus I agreed to drive the damned u-haul back to Berkeley, despite not having planned to do so, since the couple and their families were taking off for honeymoon or home. I hadn’t driven in more than a year since I didn’t have an international license in Korea, but I only got lost once. I was happy to do it, yet Ben and Elana surprised me with an amazing gift of a fairy tale they wrote about us -- entitled The Knight of Truth -- dedicated to me for my "chivalrous service in the creation of the McKelahan family." It is seriously one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. 

Buddha's Birthday at Bongamsa Temple

In 2011, Buddha's Birthday (as celebrated in Korea) fell on May 10th, a Tuesday. Our singular day off was enough time to visit Bongamsa Temple, which is only open to the public one day a year for the occasion.

Barbara, Sam, and I took an exceedingly early morning bus out Mungyeon in central South Korea. The surrounding mountains were completely shrouded in mist at dawn.

It turns out that there isn't really a path to the temple so much as a road that one walks along. After a considerable distance, a Korean man, Kyungrae, offered us a ride, which we gratefully accepted. Even better, he guided us around the temple, sharing his knowledge of the iconography. His English is excellent, and when he asked who my favorite philosophers were he had actually read David Hume! He used to run a travel company and encouraged young Koreans to travel in the backpacking style and to try the local foods, which is far from the norms of Korean travel and is awesome. 

The path to the temple passed over some pleasantly vine-covered bridges spanning a small river.

The mist remained on the mountain when we arrived. The temple was rather typical of Buddhist temple architecture and layout in Korea, though it was well decorated for the event. 

The stairs to the higher levels of the temple complex in the back were surrounded by terraced flower gardens. 

I always appreciate the strange elements of temple paintings, such as the extremely long arm seen here. 

The guardian lions at this temple had some goofy expressions. 

Kyungrae pointed out that the greatest enemy to wooden temples was fire, and that the water dragons atop the buildings symbolized protection against such disasters. 

We saw a beautifully carved monk's grave, though one side had been damaged over the years. 

I never got tired of the turtle-dragon memorial tablets seen all over Korea. 

The painted winter scene was one of the most beautiful paintings I had seen at a temple, though some of the stranger ones were more memorable. 

I had never noticed before that the wooden dragon frequently present in the eves of temples pokes through the wall to be half on each side. 

Other rafters also looked like dragons. 

There was also a surprising number of elephants depicted in the temple. 

Though it was still early in the spring, the plant life was blooming. 

The mist was oddly persistent, though I have no complaints as it added to the mystic feel of the secluded temple. 

The monks served tasty free lunch. Kyungrae translated for us as we talked with one of the more senior monks, and one of the main reasons that they open the temple at all is so that they can be of service to the world, with a free meal being part of it. 

After a thorough tour of the complex, we headed down to some pools along the river. 

A large Buddhist image was carved on the side of a good sized boulder. 

The visitors were prepared to keep praying even when it rained. 

Balanced stones were all over the area. 

The meditative practice is seen around Buddhist holy places in Korea.

Many larger stones had Chinese characters carved into them. Kyungrae translated a few for us. They were largely prayers or dedications to family members.

We left back through the temple, once more appreciating the lanterns hung for the occasion. 

Kyungrae gave us a ride back, during which he and Sam bonded over their love of ABBA. 

Several months later, Barbara and I met up with Kyungrae again in his home in Daegu, and the three of us visited Haeinsa Temple, which was just as impressive as the first time I visited. 

Seoul Lantern Festival for Buddha's Birthday

My previous year in Korea, I had missed the lantern festival because I thought it was the weekend after Buddha's Birthday, when in fact it is the weekend before it. I did not make the same mistake twice, and made sure I was in Seoul for the event. On the subway ride into the city, I started rereading Herman Hesse's Siddhartha, which certainly seemed appropriate. I had read it in high school, but my freshman year English teacher saw so many metaphors of her own invention in the texts that we barely discussed the ideas that were actually there, which soured me on the books we read. I found myself quite liking Siddhartha the second time around.

The Lantern Festival is nearly as elaborate and impressive as the Tournament of Roses Parade in Pasadena. The floats clearly take a great deal of work and effort to build.

Some lanterns had animatronic elements. 

Between the large shaped lanterns were scores of people - usually in traditional dress -carrying handheld lanterns of various shapes and colors. 

It wouldn't be Korea without a depiction of Admiral Yi Sun Sin's Turtle Ships. 

I was watching the parade from an intersection that had low power lines, so I saw many lanterns that had to change shape or otherwise lower themselves to avoid the obstacles overhead. 

Some floats were more Buddhist themed than others. 

I instantly recognized the Vajra, the symbolic weapon for removing temptation. The symbol had been all over the Guinsa temple complex, and I have noticed it in Buddhist art ever since then.

A convenient way to remember the usage of swastikas is that the top arm of the Buddist one faces left, while the Nazi swastika faces right (which maps nicely onto our terms for the political spectrum). I suppose this lantern had the arms facing the correct way for Buddhism from the perspective of the other side of the street...

After the parade, I wandered the artificial stream than runs through Seoul, and which had been decorated for the occasion. 

The projections on the wall looked surprisingly three dimensional. 

I have no idea what Donald Rumsfeld was doing in the long chain of various images. 

Some of the decorations reminded me of Renn Fayre at Reet. 

I liked some of the more permanent artworks along the stream as well as the festival decorations.

The pumped in waterfall that begins the stream has a pool beneath it, and several lanterns were placed there. 

Not far away, I noticed shadows projected onto buildings, and caught the end of a very modern theatre production. 

The actors were roped into harnesses, and there was a great moment where one 'fell' in slow motion. 

On the subway home, I finished reading Siddhartha. I can't believe how much I dismissed the wisdom of the book the first time I read it, bad teacher or no. I was so excited and full of life and the joy of existence that instead of going to sleep right away, I wandered the stream near my apartment, enjoying the sounds of the stream or of two rocks clinking together.